Through Hell and ?

Okay peeps....I have that feeling again. And I hope that this really sticks.

Here I sit...still in the bowels of hell....

After being cheated on by my "significant other" and subsequent leaving me with a gaping hole in my heart and mind, I sit in this pit of despair.... looking for someone to help me regain my focus. I believe that an Angel of Mercy have came to rescue me from the pit, but like a wayward person who just been thrown overboard, I may have tried too hard for the life preserver. This person have given me back that loving feeling I once had: that feeling where you would do just about anything up to simply bleeding out and dying for the affection of another.

For the first time in a very long time, I wasn't thinking of what my "supposed to be partner" have done to me, nor what she said to me to make me feel less than human. I was thinking of the Angels' smile, her warmth, her gentleness....

However, she too was scorned; nervous about stepping into that battlefield we call dating. She and I both managed to spend time with each other twice in one day, just to see where each other stand. However, I may have scared her away. I am truly drawn to her....but as she rises from the ashes, she wants to take it slow.... Hell, after what I been through, I am down with that too, but I know the type of guy I am.... I am exclusive.

I don't like playing the field, talk to this person, while setting up another person for the score. Never have. Never will. I like to focus on the person I want to had an relationship with, so that there is no doubt in my mind that this person is like I am: for real about how they feel. And after the crap I have been through, I am fully aware that I need to crawl as well, but I had to let her know where I stood on how I felt about her, even though I also wanted to run this at a snails pace....and I think I scared her away.

I am such an idiot. I may even go as far to say that I am desperate for affection. But I hope I didn't screw things up. She said she really likes me, and she wants to spend time with me, but she is confused and needs time to think...

I am on my knees - praying that something good comes from this. I believe that the Lord know I suffered long enough.

'chuss...