Changes....

Wow... it has been a minute.

A "minute" has past since I vented my frustrations, lost my sanity over something stupid or just simply spazzed out. But it doesn't mean I have had my moments...

I had moments when I felt boxed in by the powers that be, moments when I felt like I was being used and moments when I just wanted to "chuck up the deuces" and take my leave of this place. You know, it just sucks when you feel as if you are just spinning your wheels, and you notice it, but it really bites when others notice it too and don't ask you, "dude is everything alright?" without the, "Hey, I need you to do this... or that..."

Being depressed really takes the energy out of everything. You go from being all over the place, to just vegetating in front of the computer, watching your friends on Facebook post exciting tales of their day... sorta like you are looking out of your bedroom window at your friends playing outside, being unable to join them because you are not well enough to go out and play.

But hey, during my absence, it hasn't been all "doom and gloom"... I have been able to sucker punch my depression from time to time. Managed to somewhat design and build my home theater computer system, turned my desktop into a budget version of Skynet, and to keep from going full blown nerd.... acquired a two door bullet of a car..... haven't found a tree to wrap it around yet.

Yay.....

But life has this lemon factory - and it is bent on sending me all the lemons. I guess the best way to deal with all the drama life has to offer, I must get back to doing things I used to do.

Now, where did I put that pocket protector...


-tchuss.

A Geeks Gift...

Ok, the Limewire ride is over… RIAA convinced some judge to stepped in and crushed it all for most of us…

Take notice that I said MOST.

As for me, Limewire has been a bane of my music existence since the days of Kazaa; the virus-loaded peer to peer (p2p) program back in the days when downloading music was the norm. Sure, Limewire was great for getting some music that was big on the charts, but what about the hits that have yet hit the airwaves? Now that Limewire has been put on ice, you either have to buy the expensive CD or pay for it through iTunes.

Well not me…. I still have a few tricks up my sleeves.

My usual method was to use a program called Bittorrent, which is great for things that I think is better not mentioned in this blog (hint, hint). The only downfall is that this is still a p2p-based system and can be tracked, and you may have the Sheriff Department or the cops delivering a court notice to you. However, I about to give the most of you the golden goose of music downloading… You Tube.

Yeah, I know…You Tube is for videos, but with the right set of programs, it is also a great source for music! So grab a pen and paper, because I am giving you the road map to Holy Grail of getting music! All I ask is that you don’t put this on blast, or throw me under the bus… this is how I have been get my music for a little over a year now, clean and free.

First, and most important, you need a program called the You Tube Downloader (http://download.cnet.com/YouTube-Downloader/3000-2071_4-10647340.html). This program is designed to download videos you like to your home computer. All you have to do is copy the url ( the address bar, for those who still don’t know) of the page the video is on and paste it in the downloader. If the video isn’t copyright protected, which most aren’t, it will download the video to the file of your choice. Just make sure that the video you choose is clean and clear, you don’t want no shitty sounding video, or one with somebody using a video camera to record it on.

Next you need a program called AoA Audio Extractor (http://download.cnet.com/AoA-Audio-Extractor/3000-2170_4-10605079.html). This program pulls the audio from the video you just downloaded from You Tube, and converts it to the famous .mp3 format. The free version only extracts 3 videos at a time, but it extracts them so fast, you really don’t need to purchase the full version. After that… well I am sure you know what to do from there. Just make sure you delete the videos, they take up a lot of space.

So, my way of getting new music is like this:

Music source: Pandora, Slacker or XM Radio… then,

YouTube: Find the video of the song that was played on the music source (oh it’s there, trust me) put it into your Videos Folder… after that,

YouTube Downloader: Copy the link to the video into the downloader and download it into a folder for the AOA audio extractor… and finally,

AoA Audio Extractor: Turns the video into the .mp3 format. Place in your music folder.

CAUTION: MAKE SURE YOU SET THE AUDIO SAMPLE RATE TO 44100!!! THIS IS THE STANDARD RATE TO MOST MP3 PLAYERS!!!!

This is the fastest way I have found to get music without crossing legal boundries; but soon this will become illegal once more people start catching on, so start collecting as fast as possible.

Like I said before, my gift to you. Just don’t put it on blast…

…or throw me under a bus.

'chuss.

Fathers Day 2010....

Yup.. that time again.

That time where people pay tribute to all the fathers in the country, even those who doesn't deserve it. But, I would like to touch one one group of guys who are pretty much the underdogs of Fathers Day; the single guys who takes in kids as their own....the automatic fathers.

They are a rare breed indeed, not the biological father, but the father of the moment. Some have it easy, those who raise another mans child since birth and others catch Hell.... caught in the bitter struggle of being a stern role model while being constrained because of the mothers devotion to her child.... Then there are the ones who were just used and tossed... just needed around enough to provide some sort of stability until the child apporaches adulthood, then tossed aside like last months' Oprah Magazine. Welcome to my nightmare....

I can't even count on one hand how many Father's Days I have celebrated since I have been an automatic father; it was, "Oh well, you get you Fathers Day present on your birthday" -

then the Fathers Day and birthday present will be presented on Christmas -

then the Fathers Day, Birthday and Christmas present will fall on income tax day....

Wait..... I get what I want on that day....but nothing is ever given to me.

I can remember getting chased off of the Mars Supermarket property for helping people with their groceries for tips to buy my father a gift for Fathers Day...each time it was worth it...

....one time I added to his already extensive fishing pole collection....

.....then another time, I added to his cologne collection; a Brut 33 soap on a rope collection. I swear I got that back that following Christmas....

But one day, I shocked my father. I saved up to get my father something that I remembered he loved to do. I brought him a CB radio. He was so happy, that he spent the rest of the afternoon putting it into his car. Of course the radio didn't stay in the car long... the car broke down.

Those were the days.

Flash forward to now.... a automatic father cleaning his house on Fathers Day.

No plans...

No gifts....

Nothing.

At least I got somewhat a gift... MLB.tv is showing every baseball game the entire weekend. Finally get a chance to see an Orioles game. But until then, let me finish cleaning. Maybe I'll buy myself something for Fathers Day next year.... on Income Tax Day.

'chuss.

Through Hell and ?

Okay peeps....I have that feeling again. And I hope that this really sticks.

Here I sit...still in the bowels of hell....

After being cheated on by my "significant other" and subsequent leaving me with a gaping hole in my heart and mind, I sit in this pit of despair.... looking for someone to help me regain my focus. I believe that an Angel of Mercy have came to rescue me from the pit, but like a wayward person who just been thrown overboard, I may have tried too hard for the life preserver. This person have given me back that loving feeling I once had: that feeling where you would do just about anything up to simply bleeding out and dying for the affection of another.

For the first time in a very long time, I wasn't thinking of what my "supposed to be partner" have done to me, nor what she said to me to make me feel less than human. I was thinking of the Angels' smile, her warmth, her gentleness....

However, she too was scorned; nervous about stepping into that battlefield we call dating. She and I both managed to spend time with each other twice in one day, just to see where each other stand. However, I may have scared her away. I am truly drawn to her....but as she rises from the ashes, she wants to take it slow.... Hell, after what I been through, I am down with that too, but I know the type of guy I am.... I am exclusive.

I don't like playing the field, talk to this person, while setting up another person for the score. Never have. Never will. I like to focus on the person I want to had an relationship with, so that there is no doubt in my mind that this person is like I am: for real about how they feel. And after the crap I have been through, I am fully aware that I need to crawl as well, but I had to let her know where I stood on how I felt about her, even though I also wanted to run this at a snails pace....and I think I scared her away.

I am such an idiot. I may even go as far to say that I am desperate for affection. But I hope I didn't screw things up. She said she really likes me, and she wants to spend time with me, but she is confused and needs time to think...

I am on my knees - praying that something good comes from this. I believe that the Lord know I suffered long enough.

'chuss...

Return to Geekdom....

How many years.... I think it has been two years.

Two years since my "then high-end" phone, my Pocket PC, decided to reach out and touch EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE stored on my phone. That prompted me to get a replacement, but sadly the model was discontinued. So, instead of "upgrading" to a new phone and spending another 300 dollars I decided to terminate my contract and seek out a new phone.

Oops, big mistake.

So... being "exiled" from geekdom, I struggled with office phones, Government Blackberries (I now call Crackberries), and one mean ass home receptionist who rather text on her phone instead of answering mines. Then, two years later on a advice from a friend, I get a prepaid phone... which kinda was like drinking water after drinking Pepsi.... something to cool my thirst, but had no flavor.

Then I saw it... the HTC HD 2.

Going for 269... I was like, "I am BACK!!!" So I shoot over to T-Mobile and check to see if they had them....Unfortunately, I had to wait an additional week. I didn't mind waiting since I would have gotten paid anyway. So how bad can a week be?

Well I guess in my book, bad has an entourage....

I went through dropped calls, power failures...it was like it actually knew its days were numbered. But I still had plans for the thing. Eventually, the moment of truth has arrived; I jump up early, race to the bank, rob my account of 300 dollars and raced the Armada to the nearest T-Mobile store....

And ran into another line!!

Now, here I am, pacing the aisles, wondering how many did they have and if the people ahead of me were after my damn phone. And after 45 minutes it was my turn:

"You have the HTC HD 2?"

"The what?"

I point to the picture on the window..."That. The HD 2."

"Oh yeah... we have two left. You want one?"

I said to myself, "Duh...." I said aloud, "Duh...."

So the guy takes my info and sets up the contract...."Ok, that'll be 350..."

"WTF???" I looked at him like a deer in headlights....I said, "Dude!! That is supposed to be 269 and some change!"

"He replied well yeah, but you have to add the tax...."

I forgot that OUTSIDE the installation, I have to pay sales tax! So I jumped back into the Armada, race back down the street , rob my account of another 50 dollars, race back up the street....

And had to stand in line AGAIN!!!

And after another 30 minutes, I have been re-admitted to the land of geekdom: I can not only do what I used to do with my old phone, but i can now watch movies, jump on the Book of Face (Facebook), and shoot videos....

... and that was just cracking the surface.

But I am glad that I just have the phone I wanted.

Now on to the Television.....

Haters Inc...

Wow….this is truly amazing. I just need to know something:

Facebook is a Social Networking site, right? So, can someone explain why would someone get twisted when one of their friends asks to be a part of my page? Then make matters worse, they run cry to another (who is also on my page) that I picked up one of his friends, and have that one try to make me look stupid on MY page? I just want to know.

Let’s get something very clear; I am just entering the Facebook world. So what if I don’t have as many as these people do. It’s called SOCIALIZING!! Look it up.

Yeah, I don't visit home much... I am pretty much the lone wolf, and everyone I know, is aware of this. But that is old news; in my business, that is the nature of the beast. And thanks to Facebook, that is changing. I have been on my families pages, became friends of their friends. I have friends that were telling me to jump on this bandwagon well before I decided to join. These friends are from all over the world; from Los Angeles, California… to Brisbane, Australia… to Peru… to Seattle, Washington… to the United Arab Emirates… and throughout Europe….

Different backgrounds, different religions’, different walks of life… all are my friends before Facebook. And will continue to be after Facebook as well… hell, the world wasn’t created by this… I even have one person that I am interested in… and that person isn’t even in YOUR clique. But you are hating, manhood being threatened over a simple click of a button… What’s funny is that if it was me, I wouldn’t have given a damn.

Hell, if we’re friends, “mi casa, su casa”… just don’t crash out on my bed.

But what is shocking is that you went to cry to someone else… and they can’t keep their mouth shut to me to even save their own life! Couldn’t even man up and address me face to face…

Simply weak… and under-handed. If you’re scared, go to church, playa. But while you all are hatin’, remember this:

Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

Then when I face you, you give me a look like I’m crazy, right?

If it’s all like that…

MySpace is still up, because I don’t play grade school games.

- Rant over.

‘chuss.

True Grit

They say that man is only as strong as the company he keeps, and that no man is an island. I can agree with that on so many levels. A persons character is made up of many events of the past… whether good or bad. It’s called adjusting… or how we in the military call it, “overcome and adapt”.

In my opinion, a person who is shunned as a child by those around them would overtly become defensive, perhaps even hostile, towards people he comes in contact with. And a person who is mistreated will become reclusive altogether.

Thank God I am neither of them.

However, when it comes to relationships, things can change.

It can take a strong man to be toppled by the actions of a woman, and vice versa. A good example is Samson and Delilah. I mean this guy was strong and smart, but apparently not strong willed. Couple snips of his locks and he was just a weak as everyone else. But we all know what happens later in that story.

My observation as of late is that what one person can tear down, another person can build up… and vice versa. It is also said that behind every strong man is a strong woman… but there is a flaw in today’s society:

It’s all about how fast can you break one’s wall down.

I am witnessing a couple relationship implode before my eyes… when I met them, the wife was a strong minded woman. She was determined that no man was better than her man, right until she made a confession to him recently. Then the wall came down like Jericho… but I knew the reason behind the breakdown:

No boundaries were established.

They had a relationship that consisted of them having no issues having friends, no matter if they were married or single, male or female. I find serious problems with that:

If your partner had that friend before you met, cool. If your partner introduces their new friend to you, that’s cool too…

However-

You don’t get friends (male or female) and keep them “on the side”, and you certainly don’t go out on dates… with just your “friend”.

That is straight disrespectful.

Let me break it down this way; respect is the primary foundation of any relationship. It turns thugs into gentlemen, hoochies into women. No way will anybody disrespect another person that they are interested in… period. Once the respect is established, love quickly follows. I haven’t met a couple yet that loves each other, but didn’t respect each other, for you can’t love anybody you simply don’t respect. If you lose respect with the person you love, disaster awaits. And the victim of the relationship will lose their “wall”. Since that other person had already lost their respect for you, so it’s pretty much fair game for them… they will continue to tear you down, by any means necessary.

A house is only as strong as its foundation… anyone can be successful, but not become successful alone. It takes a strong foundation of a partner to help one succeed… even if they failed in the attempt. But to be their “foundation”…

Your relationship will last much longer.

Well… that is just my opinion.

'chuss.